6 Months in APAcS Toastmasters Club

Hello,
As the title suggests, this blog post will be about how I've changed after 6 months of joining into APTC.

I like how members treat me. Most of them are older than me by 1 - 4 years and yet the choose to treat me as an equal. It was strange at first. They were so comfortable with me and that made me uncomfortable. In my mind, I was screaming "WHERE ARE THE BOUNDARIES? WHERE ARE THE UNSPOKEN RULES?". There were none. These people genuinely accepted me as who I am. 

This was a new experience for me, all this while through high school, the unspoken rule was juniors are beneath the seniors. The seniors have the say in everything and the juniors would have to just agree. But these people that overtime have become my friends never did such things. Your ideas are worth listening to. I've loved them ever since.

I am now more confident in sharing ideas and voicing out opinions. I used to be a wallflower. I would always stay in the shadows, avoid taking up roles, try my best not to have to talk to people in general. My English isn't bad so I don't really know why I was like that. I was so afraid of people judging me that I just kept quiet. In Toastmasters, you're required to finish 10 speech projects. 

I remember my first. It was terrifying. I shared about what was different about me and I was so deathly afraid the members would think I was strange. To my surprise, some of them approached me, saying it was a cool speech. Doing speeches gets a little easier with time, especially now that I'm friends with my fellow members. I don't mind having to do presentations or being asked questions because I know in my heart, there is literally nothing to be afraid of.

From APTC, I have also learned the weight of responsibility. I am the VP of Membership so my job roles include keeping current members happy and recruiting new members. I am also in charge of payments of membership renewals and new member application. I take my job seriously. 15 y/o Ainna would die at the thought of having to shoulder so much expectation and responsibility but I've grown and by overcoming my fears, I feel like I can take on the World.

So yes, I love this club, I love what it stands for and it's moral principles and values. I love all my fellow members for being with me in these 6 months. Joining was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. Here's to another great term.

Ainna

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Timer

Hello friends,

Today's blogpost is about being a timekeeper of a club meeting (specifically Toastmasters Club meeting). I am in no way an expert in it, I just wanted to share my experience on it.

I took up the role of time because the committee felt that for the first meeting, the role-players should be the committee member's themselves so the other members could watch and learn first. Admittedly, I was afraid to take up the role as it involved giving a report  at the end of the meeting and I dread talking (which is why I joined this club, to learn how to speak with ease and grace). 

The first thing I did after given the role was research. Here's what I found:

The purpose of a timer if to keep accurate track of time and ensure that the meeting is conducted according to the given time. Basically you'd have to time each person's speech or session and you'd have to alert them of the time left for their speech.

I was given a green light, an ember light and a red light.
It goes like this:

• If the session is 2 minutes long
• G: 1 min E: 1 1/2 mins R: 2 mins
• If the session is 3 minutes long
• G: 1 min E: 2 mins R: 3 mins
• If the session is 5 minutes long (also applicable for above 5 minutes)
• G: 2 mins left E: 1 min left R: time up

If the person keeps on speaking after 30 seconds after time up, you're required to ring the bell.

I had to do that the whole meeting and let me tell you, it was not easy. Time management is hard and confusing but without the timer, the meeting could end too soon or too late. 

After the evaluation of prepared speeches, the grammarian, ah counter, timer and general evaluator need to voice out their reports. 

The timer report goes like this:

Dear guests and fellow members,

• The meeting started at _:_ _ am/pm
• The president's welcoming address by ____ ____ took _ mins and _ seconds. Time given was 3 minutes
• etc

I think I did a really good job, the toastmaster guests were whooping so I hope they thought I did well ^^

Anyways at the end of the meeting, we had to choose who gets to do the prepared speech for the next meeting. I was one of them along with my friend, Julia. This will be my first prepared speech in Toastmasters, so I'd have to do the first speech module which is the Ice Breaker. I'd have to talk about myself, basically. But that is a blogpost for another day.

Till then

Ainna.

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Toastmasters and Everything Else

Hi,

Ainna here. It's been a while, I'm sorry for my absence. This post will be about all that has happened within the last 6-8 months I've been away from blogging.

On June of 2014, I was accepted to UiTM's CAT-ACCA course in UiTM Shah Alam. It was hard but in the end it was well worth effort as I had managed to get an average of 82% in my finals.

After finals was relaxing and unproductive (as holidays should be) (okay maybe not) ^^ I rarely ever did anything much less went out with my friends for a little socialising. I was a bit of a recluse at the time, I admit. I was supposed to go work for the semester break but because I was busy being Patrick under a rock, I decided against it.

I'm 3 months in the new semester. The subjects have gotten harder (as they should) and I have gotten lazier. I have to fight this sooner or later and I would prefer the former than the latter.

I did do something interesting this semester. I joined the Toastmasters Club. I am a committee member, the Vice President of Membership. I don't fully grasp what it means yet but I;m sure I will soon. We'll be having our second meeting tomorrow and I'm both excited and very nervous. I won't learn anything if I never try so here I am pulling every ounce of confidence I have in my body to attend the said meeting.

Will fill you in on what happens soon.
Till then.

Yours,
Ainna Dean

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I GOT INTO UiTM SHAH ALAM FOR CAT-ACCA!

Hello my beautiful readers,

As you all can tell by my caps lock and exclamation mark, I am very happy and pleased with myself. Alhamdulillah, I got into Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM) Shah Alam for the Certified Accounting Technician (CAT) professional qualification.

I found out on 10th of May 2014. 11th of May was when I could print out the Acceptance Letter and the forms I have to fill and bring on registration day.

I also found out what I got for UPU. I asked for Diploma of Accountancy at UiTM and they gave me Diploma Analisis Pelaburan (which is Investment Analysis) at UiTM Johor in Segamat.

I already rejected the offer for that one and accepted the offer for CAT.

I have loads of things to do. I need to buy stationary, clothes, food, toiletries etc. It's overwhelming really but I'm sure I'll get through it in the end.

I'm going for the registration on 2nd June 2014 at Kolej Seroja. As of now, I'm finished with certifying all the copies of my certificates at school.

I might write a new blog post when I get there but as of now, I'm pretty busy. I apologise in advance.

Yours,
Ainna Dean.

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The Dreaded Interview

Hello

It has been quite a while since my interview and I haven't told you a thing about it until today, now as I'm typing this.

But first, let me tell you a little bit about why this interview was held. You see CAT-ACCA is a globally recognised UK qualification. All syllabus and exams are printed, answers and taught in english. Surely to learn it, you must be used to the language. This interview was to seek out first and foremost, the students who could understand and communicate in English. 

Shall we begin?

It was the 21st of April 2014, a Monday. A day dubbed by many as the worse day of the week. On that fine day at 8.30 am sharp, my interview will begin. I woke up at 5 and did what I normally do in the morning, shower, breakfast, the works. I had to go with my  father because my mother had to take care of the kids.

Slowly but surely we drove to UiTM Shah Alam and reached there in the nick of time. We were told the interviews will be held in "The Menara" as my father calls it on the very top floor, the 14th. I strut into the building with my head held high and armed by my high school transcripts I had in my hands in a green file. 

As I walked in, I could see people queuing for something. My father told me to queue while he went to check what was going on in front. We were queuing for the written essay test. They gave us 15 minutes, a topic and a rule, not more than 200 words. The topic that was given to me was "The Role of Accountants in Businesses and how this inspires you to continue your studies at UiTM". I wrote what I know in the best calligraphy that I could manage.

Afterwards, they told us to stay in this room, probably a classroom from the looks of it. It's funny how I imagined myself learning in a humongous lecture hall and it turned out to be just a regular classroom. I saw my schoolmate and felt relieved that I have found someone to share my anxiety.

We talked and talked until one of us were called upon. It was a group interview. Mine was 2 interviewers, 3 interviewees. The interviewers I got were both female, one a Malay and one a Chinese, both with extremely good fluid english. I was joined with two other boys, one from Kelantan and one from Gombak.

I was interviewed first, the questions were:
1. Tell me about yourself.
2. Why did you choose to take this course here?
3. Tell me two strengths of yours.
4. What trait should an accountant have?

All three of us got the same questions but the boy from Kelantan got a few more. You see, he didn't have his mother's birth certificate on the reason that his mother is somewhat "missing". The Malay lady told him that there were  procedures he could have taken to obtain the birth cert. Poor boy, he was struggling with his english as it is.

The other boy though, the one from Gombak was confident even if he knew he couldn't speak as well as the others. He had ambition, you could see in the way he presented himself. Sadly, he did not showcase his transcripts in a clear folder like the rest of us did. Sure they didn't ask for it but they thought we would've known what to bring.

Afterwards I went to my father's office and sat there until it was time to go home.

I'm not confident that I'd get a spot into the program. If I do, then that would be great but if I don't there's always The Diploma in Accountancy. Whichever I get, it would ultimately be God's decision. He knows what's best.

My acceptance/rejection letter comes on the 5th of May. But until then, this is all I have to tell you. Feel free to ask me any questions. My email is ainna.dean@icloud.com


With grace and kindness,
Ainna Dean.

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What's Next?

Hello,

I realised I haven't told you lot about my exam results so I shall, now, if that makes any sense. I'm deeply sorry for the delay, I have a lot on my plate right now and updating my blog isn't on top of my list. However, since I have some spare time, I might as well get on with it.

On the 20th of March, SPM results for the candidates that took them on November/December of 2014 were released. My school had gotten 56 all A students. 8 of them are Malay. 7 of them from my class and 1 of the from the Technical Drawing class. In my class, there are only 8 Malays. Could you guess who didn't manage to bag 9 A's? If you guessed me, you are correct, congratulations.

I had gotten 8A's and 1B+. The B is for my Bahasa Melayu (BM) Paper. I guess it wasn't as depressing as I thought it would be. I actually thought it was going to be Additional Mathematics but it wasn't. I guess it's not a depressing, it's just language anyways...

On the day, we were told that we could know our results via text message. I of course went on with it thinking it wouldn't work. I was wrong. Just before my school started announcing the all A's students, my phone vibrated, signalling that I had a text message. 

1 A+, 3 A, 4 A-, 1B+

I walked to my dad, showed him the text and immediately started crying. I had failed myself and I had failed him. The text message didn't specify what I got B so I assumed it was Additional Mathematics.

Then I learned that it was BM. Joy.

I'm sending it for a recheck just incase they miscalculated anything but if it comes back the same then I guess that's just fate.

The next blog post, I'll be talking about my CAT-ACCA application and my UPU application.

Till then.

Yours Sincerely,

Ainna.

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Results, Expectations and Self-Doubt

20th March 2014

T-minus 10 hours until they announce the results of the SPM candidates of 2013.

I can't seem to get my head off it so let's talk shall we?

Coming into the year 2013, I knew what I had to do. I had to study and work my butt off and not disappoint. I was put into (what they call) the first science class which is huge deal at my school and I believe all the other schools in Malaysia (majority thinking). With a class of 35 students, I was one of the only eight Malays in the class. My father was so proud.

Of course, this means his expectations were higher. His expectations are always higher with me. I am the first child after all. I remember when I was in middle school, my father used to get mad at me for getting a B. All my other friends got C's and their parents thought it was okay. I guess he always wanted me to be the best.

I am afraid. So afraid, I could barely breathe. I feel like I'm being forced to breathe underwater. I am drowning in my fears of disappointing him. To see his eyes and to know that I have failed him. To never be able to be the same person again. I can't handle it. Sometimes I get so lost in my depression that I just feel dark, nothing but black emptiness.

How could I make you happy, Daddy? What if I don't get what you want me to get? What if I fail you Daddy?

It brings tears in my eyes to think of the possibility of me not achieving the straight A's that he wants.

But honestly, I feel like I'm going to disappoint. I have this feeling that I will get a B for at least one subject. I'm self-doubting myself and I don't know why. Maybe it's to lower my expectations, maybe it's just a feeling. Who knows?

I think this is enough for now. I feel even more depressed than before. I'm going to sleep because it's the only way one escapes from reality for a moment. Hopefully I'll wake up with a new found excitement. If not, then Allah help me get through tomorrow in one piece.

With love,

Ainna Dean.

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A Tale of The Past

This is the story of a girl who was at the time, around 10 years old. She lives in the brown and yellow house on the corner of the house lot.

On a particular day, she went out with her family. Once they got home, she noticed a new family moving into the house two houses away from hers. Her family introduced themselves to the new neighbours. They had two sons and a daughter.

The new neighbours liked playing at the park infront of hers and their house. So she decided to go out and play with them, bringing her brothers with her. She played and played with them until it was crimson and orange outside. She had so much fun.

Everyday since then, she would go out and wait for him to come out. He is the neighbour's eldest son. She grew fond of him.

There was this once when she went out to wait for him but he never showed up. She asked his maid where he was. His maid told her that he was sick. And so she ran home as fast as she could and grabbed a paper and pen and made him a "get well soon" card. She went straight to his maid and gave it to her to deliver it to him.

He studies in another country, one far away from here. She played alone outside. She was always waiting for him to come back. And when he did, he told her he had a surprise. He told her to sit on the swings, close her eyes and lay out her hands. She was scared he was going to put a bug on her but he insisted that she believed him that it wasn't a bug.

He put something soft and hairy on the palms. He told her to open her eyes and there it was. It was a lion doll. She thought it was adorable and that it was sweet of him to get her something.

Alas, all great things eventually have to come to an end. He eventually had to stay at the country he was studying to focus on his studies. She missed him very much. But she never saw him for awhile. Then little by little they grew apart.

Now they are strangers.

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New Year, Not Quite a New Me.

Let's talk about the new year shall we? Welcome to 2014. Where (or when) the rich are getting richer and well you know the rest.

Most people have already started their "New Year's Resolution(s)" by now with the same purpose. "For a better me!" they'd say.

It's always the same every year, exercise, be healthy, study, eat organic etc and yet no one seems to finish them. Almost everyone will stop in the middle.

I opt to not have a resolution. I want to see where life takes me. I want to experience what fate has in store for me. It might not be what I want, but hey? I don't mind.

My point is that I want to live. I want to explore and learn and create and define and design and interact. Now it might be true, I'll be the same old me in 2014, but I'll end it knowing that I have lived the year to the fullest. And I haven't been able to do that in what seems like a long time :)

Let's all live this year. Focus on the bright side and learn to appreciate life and each other.

Have a great year.
With love,
Ainna.

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It's a Personal Thing

Today, I want to talk (or write and/or type if you want to be technical about it) about being nice. (Great, yet another useless topic being discussed on Ainna's Peanut Blog)

WHAT IS NICE?

Well, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, nice is (in the context) someone or something who or that is pleasing and agreeable. It is nice to receive flowers for example, or help others.

I try my best to be nice. I help anyone and everyone I could and I stay in good terms with almost everyone. It is kinda hard sometimes especially when you really need something but you choose to help others first.

What I end up feeling? Under-appreciated, unloved and unwanted. People who are nice tend to be stepped on or pushed aside. The sad truth of our society is that we don't say thank you enough and mean it.

A simple thank you is indeed just a phrase used to express gratitude to other being. However, the generation of today toss it around so often that it has lost its meaning. All I want is to be appreciated.

I also tend to keep hateful commentaries to myself. This however is the con of being nice. When you keep them, they keep building up and building up until you can't take it anymore then BAM! you explode into a tantrum of rants on twitter or yells to your siblings.

It's as if I have anger issues. I might actually. I need to see a psychologist. Hmm. I'll write to you readers again in the near future.

Until then,
Ainna.

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The Reason Behind The Charade

I'm been crushing on actors since I was a kid. But never have I been more obsessed than now. The whole "this is my husband" or "he's mine, you can't have him" or even the "one for each day" is just a distraction.

Being broken hearted (save the sob story ainna...), whenever I watch all these movies with these exceptionally handsome men, I feel better. So so much better.

All of them combined is the image of the perfect man. One who won't hurt my feelings. I wouldn't have to be worried about being torn apart. I get the cute romantic antics without the heartbreak.

After a year and 5 months of constantly having the same person call you beautiful or pretty, when it stops, you'll feel ugly. Atleast I did. I really did. I felt like (excuse my language) shit.

But these imaginary guys in my mind, they have nothing but good things to say. It builds my confidence somehow.

I know I sound like a complete psycho now but it works and it makes me happy. Am I not good enough for happiness? All I wanted was someone to reassure me.

With this, I'll put in a few pictures of my "husbands". This needed to be explained :)

Love, Ainna.

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Reminisce

It is rather inappropriate to reminisce on the past. Especially when past brought you so much happiness and pain all at once.

After what had happened, I tried shutting away from you. You wouldn't let me. Let me rephrase that, I wouldn't let myself. You were and still are much too valuable for me to lose.

I'm doing considerable well, given the circumstances. I rarely ever think about you anymore and I have stopped myself from pushing the limits of our friendship.

Today was different. It started off as any other day. I felt neutral, neither happy nor sad. But you see, when I saw that number flashing across my phone screen, I felt a familiar feeling. My heart racing, my voice barely wanting to make a sound and my mind trying to figure out what to say.

Everything has changed except for this. I've always felt this way when you call. I'd blurt out things I really wish I could take back. I'd smile like there wasn't a care in the world.

That's the one thing I can't control. It's like my mind won't get over you. It falls victim whenever I hear you voice and to be honest, you are quite the persuader.

Don't get the wrong idea, I couldn't care less whether or not you still like me or you're having a fling with some other girl. Apart from this, I have moved on.

I wrote this so that I could remind myself to not let myself behave that way. My sincerest apologies to whoever I might have offended.

Good Night World

With love,
Ainna.

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Something different :)

This is the lyrics to the Coldplay song The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I'll set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

- This song means a great deal to me. It is how I feel in my heart deep down in the place I left open with unanswered questions. The song was right, nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard. If I could, I really would go back to the start.-

As always
With love,
Ainna.

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You never knew

"The shattering of a heart when broken is the loudest quiet ever."
- Carroll Bryant

When you look at someone as this wonderful person, you've got nothing negative to say about them. You've never thought of anything, ever.

Out of the blue, they're telling you all these things about yourself that you've never heard before. Bad things, things that you did not know.

You sit there just absolutely speechless. You don't know what to say or how to respond.

All these things that you've done and all the things that you thought were enough actually weren't enough at all. Whatever you were doing was not good enough. You did not show enough and you did not give enough or do enough.

There were things instinctively you shoul've done and you should've known to do, you just didn't know.

You don't get a second chance, sorry. You don't get one because you don't deserve one.

It's hard to understand what's going on because you thought that the only thing you've done really well in your life was this person.

Turns out, you had failed.
Then you get to the how fast they find someone to replace you.
A person that he/she has only known for a few days.
You think to yourself, how could he/she
?

You don't understand it but you have to face it either way.

* This is my blog so I am allowed to convey my emotions however I want. This was not written by me but spoken by Wayne Goss, a make up artist on youtube regarding the leaving of his best friend. It seemed to fit me so I decided to type it out. I'm sorry if this was too emotional for your liking but you know what? I don't live to impress.

With the warmth of my heart,
Ainna.

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The Things I enjoy :)

Academic wise, I enjoy studying Mathematics and Physics. I'm not so fond of homework. I love the rush when I get the answers right ^^ what can I say? I have a gift.

Ways to pass time,
I enjoy reading. The current books I am in love with are The Hunger Games Trilogy, The Fault in Our Star and Looking for Alaska. Old time favourites would be the Harry Potter Series and the Twilight Saga.

I also enjoy gaming. Games I love would be, the Call of Duty franchise, the Tom Clancy franchise, Dance Central franchise, the Harry Potter games 1-7, Pokemon, Innocent Life and World of Warcraft. Basically any game that seems fun or it first person shooter, I'd go for it.

Music wise, I'm quite open with my genres. I listen to most: Panic! at The Disco, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, 30 Seconds to Mars, Maroon 5 and BIGBANG. But really, i listen to all genres. Well, except for One Direction because I just don't like them (I can say whatever I want).

I'm not an outdoors kinda person mainly because Malaysia is hot and humid and ugh. But if I was in London, I'd go out like all the time. Oh yeah, I like traveling ^^

I, like many girls, am obsessed with high heels and makeup. Don't think just because I do boy things and listen to rock make me love makeup less. It's just part of who I am.

I guess that's it. I'll update you guys later.

Ciao, Ainna.

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Hate

Hate. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, hate is intense hostility and aversion from fear, anger or sense of injury. What's the opposite of hate? Is it LOVE?

When you love someone and all of a sudden you don't anymore, does that mean you hate them? Do you hate them for making you hang around like a second choice? Do you hate them for not saying they love you?

Being in love. It feels beautiful and amazing. So good that nothing could possibly go wrong. Nothing could possibly take your happiness away. Until that fine that when the person you love the most took it away.

At that time, you don't hate him/her. Even if you say you do, you never mean it. A part of you will disagree with you. You're just acting tough in hopes that the person comes back.

But what if they don't? Will you hate them now? Call the idiots and be the hero?

In my opinion,
How could you hate someone who meant the world to you?
How could you hate the person who gave so much for you to remember?
How could you hate the same person who without fail, will make you smile when you feel down?

You just can't. All that defence tactics and putting a wall around yourself is so that people don't see how much you still care.

Hard as it is, somethings just can't be saved. Even if years pass after your "scene", you won't have hate for that person. Because he/she is part of your life and hating him/her will make you sound ungrateful :)

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I apologize :/

I'm sorry. I have just noticed thar I promised a book review months ago and yet I haven't done it yet. I am the worse blogger in history.

I've been busy lately because trials are just around the corner and I'm trying to learn as much as time and God wills me. I'm starting to feel the heat but I compose myself before I get a chance to freak out so don't worry about me.I have loads of homework and loads of catching up to do but I promise I'll update as much as I can.

I'll have a story coming up on the blog. It's an assignment essay that I have to do for english class. The assignment goes:
Write a story that ends with
"... I realise that every word she said was true."
I have a solid plot planned out so it will be exciting to see how it comes out.

I apologise again.

Till then,
Ainna.

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How Transisitors Work

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcrBqCFLHIY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I've recently finish learning the chapter Electronic at school. It was an interesting topic and I knew that it was in my nature to look for a video regarding this.

I stumbled upon a video by the very famous (and handsome) Veritasium who explained how Transistors actually work.

It helps me apply what I've learnt and I find it super cool that our Transisitors now are the size of 50 atoms. That is freakishly small.

Have a go and watch the video. You might just love the channel and be a subscriber, like me :)

With love,
Ainna.

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Burning the Past

Today marks the 51st day. Hmm.

The first few days were rough. I could never think about him to stop myself from crying. He meant so much to me. So much. My heart ached so bad, it hurt to breathe.

I never expected us to not work. Oh all the promises we shared, now like a faded memory but still clear in my mind. He was in everything I did. I wanted to do things because of him, because he gave me this feeling I've never felt before. Maybe that was my mistake, I let him in everything in my life. I had nowhere to fall when things get bad.

He is genuinely a nice person with a good heart and an amazing personality. Atleast, that was who I feel in love with in the first place. He always said the nicest things and he'd always be so sweet to me. He was perfect and whoever wins his heart will be lucky to have him.

I was selfish and cruel. No one deserves what I did to him. If I could turn back time, I would beg then and there but because I wanted him to rest, because I knew he was tired, I left it at that. I wish he'd talk it through with me first. He made the decision so abruptly. He changed everything so fast. I was left without saying a word.

I guess he and I just weren't meant to be. As much as I miss him and all the memories we shared, I don't think we can ever be together again.

It's hard to be his friend now but I try my best because I want him to be part of my life, eventhough I know I can't have him. Atleast him being there would ease the pain by a fraction.

I hope that one day I might move on completely from him. I believe that one day in my life, I will meet the real person who I will spend my life with. And I hope that he does the same.

Where ever you are, I want to say that I only wish the best for you because you deserve a person a thousand times better than I was. A person who will fill you with light and happiness. A person who could take your hand and guide you out of that shadow you put on yourself. A person you can finally call yours.

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As Told By Ginger

As Told By Ginger has taught me to trust in fate.

Ginger started off being friends with Darren and they dated each other. Darren felt that Ginger was too preoccupied with other thing until he felt lonely and unwanted. Lucky for him, there was another girl he could rely on making him feel better. And so he broke up with Ginger and it made her feel like her world was crashing down into dust.
She failed to realize that Orion cared for her and really liked her. They were together.

The ending however showed Ginger and Darren as a family. I would have wanted Orion but that was what the writter wanted so can't question that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, things will be brighter in the end and if I stay in this hole I made for myself, I might just miss it :)

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