6 Months in APAcS Toastmasters Club

Hello,
As the title suggests, this blog post will be about how I've changed after 6 months of joining into APTC.

I like how members treat me. Most of them are older than me by 1 - 4 years and yet the choose to treat me as an equal. It was strange at first. They were so comfortable with me and that made me uncomfortable. In my mind, I was screaming "WHERE ARE THE BOUNDARIES? WHERE ARE THE UNSPOKEN RULES?". There were none. These people genuinely accepted me as who I am. 

This was a new experience for me, all this while through high school, the unspoken rule was juniors are beneath the seniors. The seniors have the say in everything and the juniors would have to just agree. But these people that overtime have become my friends never did such things. Your ideas are worth listening to. I've loved them ever since.

I am now more confident in sharing ideas and voicing out opinions. I used to be a wallflower. I would always stay in the shadows, avoid taking up roles, try my best not to have to talk to people in general. My English isn't bad so I don't really know why I was like that. I was so afraid of people judging me that I just kept quiet. In Toastmasters, you're required to finish 10 speech projects. 

I remember my first. It was terrifying. I shared about what was different about me and I was so deathly afraid the members would think I was strange. To my surprise, some of them approached me, saying it was a cool speech. Doing speeches gets a little easier with time, especially now that I'm friends with my fellow members. I don't mind having to do presentations or being asked questions because I know in my heart, there is literally nothing to be afraid of.

From APTC, I have also learned the weight of responsibility. I am the VP of Membership so my job roles include keeping current members happy and recruiting new members. I am also in charge of payments of membership renewals and new member application. I take my job seriously. 15 y/o Ainna would die at the thought of having to shoulder so much expectation and responsibility but I've grown and by overcoming my fears, I feel like I can take on the World.

So yes, I love this club, I love what it stands for and it's moral principles and values. I love all my fellow members for being with me in these 6 months. Joining was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. Here's to another great term.

Ainna

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Timer

Hello friends,

Today's blogpost is about being a timekeeper of a club meeting (specifically Toastmasters Club meeting). I am in no way an expert in it, I just wanted to share my experience on it.

I took up the role of time because the committee felt that for the first meeting, the role-players should be the committee member's themselves so the other members could watch and learn first. Admittedly, I was afraid to take up the role as it involved giving a report  at the end of the meeting and I dread talking (which is why I joined this club, to learn how to speak with ease and grace). 

The first thing I did after given the role was research. Here's what I found:

The purpose of a timer if to keep accurate track of time and ensure that the meeting is conducted according to the given time. Basically you'd have to time each person's speech or session and you'd have to alert them of the time left for their speech.

I was given a green light, an ember light and a red light.
It goes like this:

• If the session is 2 minutes long
• G: 1 min E: 1 1/2 mins R: 2 mins
• If the session is 3 minutes long
• G: 1 min E: 2 mins R: 3 mins
• If the session is 5 minutes long (also applicable for above 5 minutes)
• G: 2 mins left E: 1 min left R: time up

If the person keeps on speaking after 30 seconds after time up, you're required to ring the bell.

I had to do that the whole meeting and let me tell you, it was not easy. Time management is hard and confusing but without the timer, the meeting could end too soon or too late. 

After the evaluation of prepared speeches, the grammarian, ah counter, timer and general evaluator need to voice out their reports. 

The timer report goes like this:

Dear guests and fellow members,

• The meeting started at _:_ _ am/pm
• The president's welcoming address by ____ ____ took _ mins and _ seconds. Time given was 3 minutes
• etc

I think I did a really good job, the toastmaster guests were whooping so I hope they thought I did well ^^

Anyways at the end of the meeting, we had to choose who gets to do the prepared speech for the next meeting. I was one of them along with my friend, Julia. This will be my first prepared speech in Toastmasters, so I'd have to do the first speech module which is the Ice Breaker. I'd have to talk about myself, basically. But that is a blogpost for another day.

Till then

Ainna.

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Toastmasters and Everything Else

Hi,

Ainna here. It's been a while, I'm sorry for my absence. This post will be about all that has happened within the last 6-8 months I've been away from blogging.

On June of 2014, I was accepted to UiTM's CAT-ACCA course in UiTM Shah Alam. It was hard but in the end it was well worth effort as I had managed to get an average of 82% in my finals.

After finals was relaxing and unproductive (as holidays should be) (okay maybe not) ^^ I rarely ever did anything much less went out with my friends for a little socialising. I was a bit of a recluse at the time, I admit. I was supposed to go work for the semester break but because I was busy being Patrick under a rock, I decided against it.

I'm 3 months in the new semester. The subjects have gotten harder (as they should) and I have gotten lazier. I have to fight this sooner or later and I would prefer the former than the latter.

I did do something interesting this semester. I joined the Toastmasters Club. I am a committee member, the Vice President of Membership. I don't fully grasp what it means yet but I;m sure I will soon. We'll be having our second meeting tomorrow and I'm both excited and very nervous. I won't learn anything if I never try so here I am pulling every ounce of confidence I have in my body to attend the said meeting.

Will fill you in on what happens soon.
Till then.

Yours,
Ainna Dean

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I GOT INTO UiTM SHAH ALAM FOR CAT-ACCA!

Hello my beautiful readers,

As you all can tell by my caps lock and exclamation mark, I am very happy and pleased with myself. Alhamdulillah, I got into Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM) Shah Alam for the Certified Accounting Technician (CAT) professional qualification.

I found out on 10th of May 2014. 11th of May was when I could print out the Acceptance Letter and the forms I have to fill and bring on registration day.

I also found out what I got for UPU. I asked for Diploma of Accountancy at UiTM and they gave me Diploma Analisis Pelaburan (which is Investment Analysis) at UiTM Johor in Segamat.

I already rejected the offer for that one and accepted the offer for CAT.

I have loads of things to do. I need to buy stationary, clothes, food, toiletries etc. It's overwhelming really but I'm sure I'll get through it in the end.

I'm going for the registration on 2nd June 2014 at Kolej Seroja. As of now, I'm finished with certifying all the copies of my certificates at school.

I might write a new blog post when I get there but as of now, I'm pretty busy. I apologise in advance.

Yours,
Ainna Dean.

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The Dreaded Interview

Hello

It has been quite a while since my interview and I haven't told you a thing about it until today, now as I'm typing this.

But first, let me tell you a little bit about why this interview was held. You see CAT-ACCA is a globally recognised UK qualification. All syllabus and exams are printed, answers and taught in english. Surely to learn it, you must be used to the language. This interview was to seek out first and foremost, the students who could understand and communicate in English. 

Shall we begin?

It was the 21st of April 2014, a Monday. A day dubbed by many as the worse day of the week. On that fine day at 8.30 am sharp, my interview will begin. I woke up at 5 and did what I normally do in the morning, shower, breakfast, the works. I had to go with my  father because my mother had to take care of the kids.

Slowly but surely we drove to UiTM Shah Alam and reached there in the nick of time. We were told the interviews will be held in "The Menara" as my father calls it on the very top floor, the 14th. I strut into the building with my head held high and armed by my high school transcripts I had in my hands in a green file. 

As I walked in, I could see people queuing for something. My father told me to queue while he went to check what was going on in front. We were queuing for the written essay test. They gave us 15 minutes, a topic and a rule, not more than 200 words. The topic that was given to me was "The Role of Accountants in Businesses and how this inspires you to continue your studies at UiTM". I wrote what I know in the best calligraphy that I could manage.

Afterwards, they told us to stay in this room, probably a classroom from the looks of it. It's funny how I imagined myself learning in a humongous lecture hall and it turned out to be just a regular classroom. I saw my schoolmate and felt relieved that I have found someone to share my anxiety.

We talked and talked until one of us were called upon. It was a group interview. Mine was 2 interviewers, 3 interviewees. The interviewers I got were both female, one a Malay and one a Chinese, both with extremely good fluid english. I was joined with two other boys, one from Kelantan and one from Gombak.

I was interviewed first, the questions were:
1. Tell me about yourself.
2. Why did you choose to take this course here?
3. Tell me two strengths of yours.
4. What trait should an accountant have?

All three of us got the same questions but the boy from Kelantan got a few more. You see, he didn't have his mother's birth certificate on the reason that his mother is somewhat "missing". The Malay lady told him that there were  procedures he could have taken to obtain the birth cert. Poor boy, he was struggling with his english as it is.

The other boy though, the one from Gombak was confident even if he knew he couldn't speak as well as the others. He had ambition, you could see in the way he presented himself. Sadly, he did not showcase his transcripts in a clear folder like the rest of us did. Sure they didn't ask for it but they thought we would've known what to bring.

Afterwards I went to my father's office and sat there until it was time to go home.

I'm not confident that I'd get a spot into the program. If I do, then that would be great but if I don't there's always The Diploma in Accountancy. Whichever I get, it would ultimately be God's decision. He knows what's best.

My acceptance/rejection letter comes on the 5th of May. But until then, this is all I have to tell you. Feel free to ask me any questions. My email is ainna.dean@icloud.com


With grace and kindness,
Ainna Dean.

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What's Next?

Hello,

I realised I haven't told you lot about my exam results so I shall, now, if that makes any sense. I'm deeply sorry for the delay, I have a lot on my plate right now and updating my blog isn't on top of my list. However, since I have some spare time, I might as well get on with it.

On the 20th of March, SPM results for the candidates that took them on November/December of 2014 were released. My school had gotten 56 all A students. 8 of them are Malay. 7 of them from my class and 1 of the from the Technical Drawing class. In my class, there are only 8 Malays. Could you guess who didn't manage to bag 9 A's? If you guessed me, you are correct, congratulations.

I had gotten 8A's and 1B+. The B is for my Bahasa Melayu (BM) Paper. I guess it wasn't as depressing as I thought it would be. I actually thought it was going to be Additional Mathematics but it wasn't. I guess it's not a depressing, it's just language anyways...

On the day, we were told that we could know our results via text message. I of course went on with it thinking it wouldn't work. I was wrong. Just before my school started announcing the all A's students, my phone vibrated, signalling that I had a text message. 

1 A+, 3 A, 4 A-, 1B+

I walked to my dad, showed him the text and immediately started crying. I had failed myself and I had failed him. The text message didn't specify what I got B so I assumed it was Additional Mathematics.

Then I learned that it was BM. Joy.

I'm sending it for a recheck just incase they miscalculated anything but if it comes back the same then I guess that's just fate.

The next blog post, I'll be talking about my CAT-ACCA application and my UPU application.

Till then.

Yours Sincerely,

Ainna.

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Results, Expectations and Self-Doubt

20th March 2014

T-minus 10 hours until they announce the results of the SPM candidates of 2013.

I can't seem to get my head off it so let's talk shall we?

Coming into the year 2013, I knew what I had to do. I had to study and work my butt off and not disappoint. I was put into (what they call) the first science class which is huge deal at my school and I believe all the other schools in Malaysia (majority thinking). With a class of 35 students, I was one of the only eight Malays in the class. My father was so proud.

Of course, this means his expectations were higher. His expectations are always higher with me. I am the first child after all. I remember when I was in middle school, my father used to get mad at me for getting a B. All my other friends got C's and their parents thought it was okay. I guess he always wanted me to be the best.

I am afraid. So afraid, I could barely breathe. I feel like I'm being forced to breathe underwater. I am drowning in my fears of disappointing him. To see his eyes and to know that I have failed him. To never be able to be the same person again. I can't handle it. Sometimes I get so lost in my depression that I just feel dark, nothing but black emptiness.

How could I make you happy, Daddy? What if I don't get what you want me to get? What if I fail you Daddy?

It brings tears in my eyes to think of the possibility of me not achieving the straight A's that he wants.

But honestly, I feel like I'm going to disappoint. I have this feeling that I will get a B for at least one subject. I'm self-doubting myself and I don't know why. Maybe it's to lower my expectations, maybe it's just a feeling. Who knows?

I think this is enough for now. I feel even more depressed than before. I'm going to sleep because it's the only way one escapes from reality for a moment. Hopefully I'll wake up with a new found excitement. If not, then Allah help me get through tomorrow in one piece.

With love,

Ainna Dean.

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